Kindness, compassion makes all the difference, say Circles participants. This story is the third in a four-part series featuring members of Circles South Muskoka discussing poverty and how to achieve more stability.
One of the main goals of Circles is to help people understand how poverty affects people’s perspectives.
With the Bridges Out of Poverty program, which people complete before becoming Allies in the Circles group, assumptions about poverty, and about people who rely on programs like Ontario Works and the Ontario Disability Support Program, are challenged.
“It changes your language. You start to have different conversations, you start to watch TV differently, you look at everything through a different lens,” said Circles co-ordinator Amy Jones.
For people who have experienced generational poverty, it can be difficult to break negative thinking patterns, explained Circles coach Kelly Jones.
“This is what I know. This is what I’ve learned. This is where it’s going to go. No power, no story, no structure. That’s your automatic thinking,” she said.
But poverty doesn’t just happen on the individual level; there are systemic factors like the housing crisis and inflation that contribute, said Amy Jones.
All of this weighs heavily on people’s mental well-being, but exercising self-care when you’re on a tight budget isn’t easy, said Circles ally Bonnie Dart.
For her, if she is having a rough day, she may buy a cup of tea and some black licorice. But if a low-income individual buys something for themselves that isn’t a necessity, “there’s a stigma around it.”
“That indulgence is sometimes what sustains you, and so now when you have to make these hard choices between diapers and food, and then you still need something that’s going to keep you going, then there’s the guilt factor,” said Dart.
Circles ally and chair of Gravenhurst Against Poverty Bonnie Dart talks about the interconnected issues of poverty in the community. May 25, 2022. (Sarah Law/Metroland photo)
One thing several Circles members mentioned that helps their mental health is their pets.
“Having an animal in your household can make such a difference to your mental health,” said Circles leader Terri Jo Déraiche.
But when a trip to the vet comes up, the costs can be devastating.
“A lot of people will say well, if you can’t afford a pet, then you shouldn’t have one, but that’s not fair,” she said.
Oftentimes, people seem “more concerned about the well-being of a pet in a situation where somebody is living in poverty but (is) actually working really hard to make sure their pet is safe and well cared for,” added Amy Jones.
“We all want to feel like we’re important to something,” said Kelly Jones. “Everybody deserves to have something to love and to be loved, and so if we look at the mental health piece, that’s fulfilling it.”
That love and care is something encouraged at Circles; kindness goes a long way.
“I feel like the Allies have invested in me and it’s something that’s important and it has made a difference in self-esteem,” said Déraiche. “Just last week, Peter (Stolpmann) stopped me to make sure that he wished me a happy birthday. He made sure that he gave me a compliment on my handwriting, and I walked away from that little incident very much smiling.”
“That support alone is part of what keeps me going,” added Circles leader Sarah Crockford. “I look forward to Wednesdays.”
And the investment goes both ways, said the Circles Allies.
“It’s so important to connect to the community,” said Circles ally Peter Stolpmann. “It’s helped me grow as a person and it’s helped me be more compassionate. It’s helped me understand other lives in a deeper way.”
“It has really helped my feeling of self-esteem and self-worth,” added Circles ally Gerry Lawrence.
Kelly Jones said she would like to see the Bridges Out of Poverty training become mandatory for service agencies to help further this compassion and empathy.
“The magic of Circles is that equity piece. We know that there are some that have this story and this journey … and when we match everyone together and even in this conversation now, we’re learning all about privilege and what it takes to get to that next step,” she said.
Circles South Muskoka coach Kelly Jones talks about education and relationship building as key ways of getting out of poverty. May 25, 2022. (Sarah Law/Metroland photo)
STORY BEHIND THE STORY: People experiencing poverty face many difficult choices, which takes a toll on their mental health. Our reporter wanted to share what makes a difference to people in Circles South Muskoka and how compassion and empathy can help shift people’s mindsets about poverty.
Sarah Law – Gravenhurst Banner – Monday, June 27, 2022